How dogs and men are the same:

Both take up too much space on the bed.

Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.

Both mark their territory.

Neither tells you what's bothering them.

The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.

Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.

Neither do any dishes.

Both fart shamelessly.

Neither of them notices when you get your hair cut.

Both like dominance games.

Both are suspicious of the postman.

Neither understands what you see in cats.

How dogs are better than men:

Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.

Dogs miss you when you're gone.

Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong.

Dogs admit when they're jealous.

Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.

Dogs do not play games with you except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw).

You can train a dog.

Dogs are easy to buy for.

Dogs understand what "no" means.

Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

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