Pet Rules
To be posted
VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
Dear
Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain
your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note,
placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake
a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically
pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because
I fall faster than you can run.
I
cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very
sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch
to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball
when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each
other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that
sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other
end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For
the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.
If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut,
it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get
your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through
the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years
- canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
I cannot stress this enough!
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