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Dog and Cats Diary
Excerpts
from a dog's daily diary:
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
6:00 pm - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVORITE!
6:30 pm - OH BOY! SLEEPING IN MY PEOPLES BED! MY FAVORITE!
Excerpts
from a cat's daily diary:
Day
183
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow
I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by
weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded,
must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and
repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit
on their favourite chair, must try this on their bed.
Decapitated
a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them
aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their
hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat
I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
There
was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary
throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the
food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY
power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use
it to my advantage.
I
am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The
dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant,
and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move.
Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.
But I can wait. It is only a matter of time.
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